This morning, I was sitting quietly. Soft instrumental music was playing, and the focus of my mind and heart was on fellowship with Jesus. I was merely talking to Him. In the process, I could feel that a two-sided conversation was taking place.
I have begun to recognize that, as I am focused on worshipping and talking to Jesus, His thoughts and my thoughts often mesh together sounding alike. I have to learn to pay attention to, what seems like, random ideas taking place in my mind. In so doing, I’ve begun to recognize when a conversation between us is taking place. Without sensing the distinction, I could come away thinking that it had just been me doing all the talking.
“As I pursue You, I find myself”
I said those words to Him, but it then dawned on me that, although I was speaking to Jesus, He was also speaking them back to me:
“As you pursue Me, you find yourself”
I understand that every desire and design that is “Me” was initially in Him.
As a people, Western society emphasizes the pursuit of individual purpose. We have been influenced to believe that discovering our mission is the Master Key to happiness and fulfillment.
I would not deny the importance of knowing what makes you…you. It’s important to realize what ‘makes you tick.’ However, I also believe that we often have our method of discovery backward. Instead of pursuing our purpose as the most important discovery to realizing abundance in our lives, seeking out our fullness in Jesus needs to be at the top of the list of pursuit.
In so doing, I realized one day (well, actually over a period of time), the most fruitful method was not as a theologian. Although learning about Him has essential value, getting to know and experience Him, with the attitude of a child, is the starting point. In the process, I often find myself curious about researching meanings of words and culture; especially if, during my conversations with Jesus, I’m impressed with specific scripture verses and passages. Otherwise, a much more straightforward, child-like attitude is my goal for those more relational morning times — or whenever in the day, or evening I pursue a relationship with Him.
“As I Pursue You, I Find Myself.”
As I invest time in developing my own relationship with Jesus, as I would with anyone I really want to know, I am discovering an increasing sense, deep within, of what motivates me, and what gives me a sense of satisfaction. In other words, what makes me tick; what gives me a deep sense of satisfaction, peace, and joy.
Is it valuable to use other tools to discover our gifts and talents; our design and God-given purpose? Sure. The highest priority, however, is realizing who we are in Him. As we pursue a relationship with Jesus, we increasingly sense where and how we harmonize together. Experiencing His personality reveals our personality. It is a marvelous mystery that brings inner clarity.
This truth is something learned by wrapping your heart around it, by faith, rather than attempting to wrap your head around it rationally.
I invite you to find yourself by pursuing Jesus.